Detta är Dagen

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

-Psalm 118:24


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Friday, July 31, 2009

Celebrating our 5th year of marriage!!! :)

Today is our wedding anniversary! 5 years down, a life-time to go -and I'm excited for many days ahead of walking through life with my Nate. He's such an amazing husband and father and I just love him so much! :)
On all of our past anniversaries, I saw a lot of Nate, but not today, since he's in meetings. So anyway, I've just been thinking a lot recently about the years we've had together and what God has given us. Some incredibly rich blessings, some things that have felt really hard for us. When I look back, the first 4 years really fade into the background, and this most recent year stands out in my mind. The blessings can be hard to see, but whenever I start complaining to God, He reminds me of so many ways He's provided for us and carried us so gently.

Perhaps the darkest shadow throughout this past year has been Will's epilepsy. We spent our anniversary last year in a hospital watching Will undergo all sorts of tests, only to have him diagnosed at the end of the day with Epilepsy which required medication. It shook us up a lot to watch him continue to have many seizures for 6 more months and to have to increase his medication almost weekly until finally January arrived and the seizures stopped. I can't even count all the blessings that we have felt throughout this dark year - particularly with relation to seeing God carry us through that seizure season. Briefly, I have to say that our community here, family support back 'home' and a helpful, kind Doctor in Delhi (who let us sort almost everything out over email!!!!) are just a few of the really helpful things through all that time that we consider gifts from God.
Throughout the fall, I wrestled with more anxiety than I have ever experienced. Of course, it was mostly unreasonable, but facing seizures at any time coupled with a robbery on our campus and a number of violent anti-Christian incidents in our country and area kept me constantly on edge. We felt exhausted all the way through December with it all. I prayed a lot about my worries- prayed that God would calm my fears and bring us peace in every way, and I remember very distinctly how Nate walked through me during that time- listening, reminding me of truth and praying with me. Beyond my comprehension, God just took away those fears gradually, and again, I can say that I don't worry- Wow, God!

Since January, we have had a number of other shadows in our life here- not news to most people who read my blog, but I don't want to forget where we've been so I can remember how God has cared for us through it all. Annie's weight has felt stressful. She continues to be very underweight - she's 20 months old now and only weighs 16.5 lbs and stands almost 30 inches tall. So we praise God that she looks and acts healthy, and I thank Him each time she eats a meal heartily. In February she gave us a scare when she started throwing tantrums where she'd stop breathing and go unconscious briefly.
I think that was one of the hardest things for me looking back on this year- was to have watched both of my kids look dead in my arms and not have any idea what was going on- much less, what to do to help them.
Annie's tantrums just about broke me and I told Nate, sobbing, that I wanted to pack up and get out of here. Thankfully, God does not actually EVER give us more than we can bear, and Annie quit fainting after a few weeks. Our last major discouragement over the past half-year has been having two miscarriages. So, as my dad has taught me to ask: " God, what are you doing here?" And we don't know, but again, I don't want to leave out the blessings He's already shown us:
-the second miscarriage didn't interfere with our trip to Korea! It also happened before we had told everyone and before Nate had duties with the new school year. We also had a few days warning that we would lose the baby, so we were able to work through some of our grief even before it happened...Wow, God! Your timing is PERFECT!
And that sums up a full year of marriage, which makes the previous 4 years almost disappear. It's been a long, hard year full of things we never dreamed we would have to face. I suspect that the rest of our lives will continue to be packed with things we didn't dream of facing, and what we've dealt with so far doesn't even compare to the grief/loss/struggles that some people face. So my prayer today is a thankful one - that God has clearly shown His faithfulness all year long (and certainly through the past 5 years of marriage!). He has been refining us through these hard times- making us stronger, showing us how how to live lives that honor Him even more. I thank Him for the refreshing times He's given us: for a new season of being able to read His Word daily together (all of our moving/adjusting our first 4 years of marriage made our times in the Word few and far between- but the past several months we've been reading consistently) - and I thank Him for much refreshment during our time in Korea.

Isaiah speaks clearly about what we have lived (I'm taking the liberty of switching around the order of two verses):
"I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things." (Isaiah 45:7) "so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other." (Isaiah 45:6)
- that is the story of life: hard times and good times - all designed for the purpose of making God known to the whole earth!


So I claim Isiah 43: 1-4 as my own (I'm copying the bulk of it here, but read all the surrounding chapters- this part of the Bible is AMAZING!). God says:
"...'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior... ...you are precious and honored in my sight... I love you..."

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

some fun pictures

There she is- you can almost hear her insistant "NO!", can't you? (she's got that word down!)
Brushing teeth is one of the kids' favorite activities. We sometimes find ourselves almost threatening to withhold this privilege if other duties aren't fulfilled like picking up toys quickly, obeying, being nice... :) Whatever works, right?

Above is a picture of them playing on the car-map quilt I made for them this summer.
Will riding his bike in monsoon- the clouds behind and below him covering the valley.
And here's how we look when we go shopping, visit friends, go to school, take a hike, go to church... -go anywhere really.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

just being a mom

At the moment, Nate's days are FULL of meetings, Will's days are full of arguments and winning bargains with his sister, and Annie's days are full of being stripped of all the 'cool' toys in exchange for the less-interesting car/book/blanket/doll - you get the idea.

As for my days, I have just started to see something about myself that surprised me: I am a bully.
I really thought I was nicer than that all these years. Growing up, I certainly had my times of being a mean girl, but then, most girls do, and through the years, I think I've learned to be kind, caring, considerate, gentle, patient (at least sort of!) etc. A friend shared recently about how easy it is to think we're perfect when we don't interact with others. She said something along the lines of: "You wouldn't believe what a wonderfully nice person I am when I'm in my apartment all by myself!"
Well, come to find out, my 3-year old drives me CRAZY and I find myself constantly yelling at him to obey, to do exactly as I tell him, to be nice to his sister, to stop grabbing things, to stop taking things away- the list goes on and on. This week (and, oh yeah, today is only Tuesday!), I noticed him being particularly mean to Annie. He'd shove his head right in her face and shout at her: "You're being NAUGHTY!" or "You need to BE-HAVE!" and I was angry with him for being so mean to her and talking with such a cruel voice. He didn't tell me that he learned it from me, but I heard how his words and tone echoed my own and I knew the truth. How appalling to think that I've passed on such behavior. In times like these, I feel sorry for myself that I don't have other families to watch and learn from. Maybe then I could get some creative ideas about how to get Will to obey/listen/be nice without being so mean to him. Parenting has felt so lonely for us through all these years since we were young to get married and have kids...
- I blame my situation and forget that: "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." (2 Peter 1:3,4)
That means I already have EVERYTHING I need to be a godly mom. I pray I learn quickly to follow God's parenting advice since it's already been given to me, and I pray that He will show my kids how to live in spite of my mistakes. ...And I still pray that our next situation in life offers us the privilege of watching and learning from some godly parents who are raising young children.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Living Words

I read this again recently and it encourged me:

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
-Isaiah 40:28-31

Though I know these words well, the passage came alive as I pictured my CREATOR who has greater understanding of all things than anyone can ever have. I find Him giving me strength, though I am weary and weak. In a very real way, I can identify with stumbling and falling as we walk on trails all day long, and I am encouraged that as I hope in the LORD, He will renew my strength. And I picture the giant eagles that sometimes fly just above our house, casting a massive shadow on the ground (I am sure that some of their wingspans are twice my height) and I recall watching them soar on the wind and hang over the valley some 6000 feet below. And I know what it is to run, but not to run without growing weary, and again, mountain terrain has taught me what it is to grow faint while walking. The promises and pictures in these few verses are so real and alive and I was struck by that and wanted to share it here. Hope you also can claim what is being offered here and are encouraged to HOPE in the LORD.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Korea: What's it like there?

Since the time I was about fourteen, I noticed that everyone always asks me the same question when they hear me talk about another country. As a result, I started trying to pick out the differences between different places- tried to figure out how I would answer that question while I was there for the next time someone asked. I'm not so good with words, so have enjoyed trying to capture things with pictures. Anyway, here are some pictures that we took (mostly Nate) to try to show you Korea. Enjoy.

Mmm. Korean food! We found it funny that menu pictures were usually of raw meat and they cooked it in front of us. Fun.
I have no idea what they printed on these steps.
Seoul.



(you've got mail.)



... and inside E-mart:
A street-side market:


(some raw fish for sale- want some?!)
Fruit all piled up- you have to buy it by the basketful.
and I have no idea what these fluffy dry things are, but they're sold by the box-ful piled high.


(Annie just pointed out to me that the above picture is of a "bus")

Abundant wildlife in the DMZ.

RICE!


Keeping the 'peace'.

Seoul- again.
(the tall tower is the tallest building in Seoul currently, and the caution sign is a funny one of a car diving off bridge into the water- watch out, it could happen to you!)


An ancient palace in the middle of a very modern massive city.


Ornately painted room in the old palace.








Inside a train- very very nice trains they have there!
The countryside.

The end. Did you get an idea of what it's like there?