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To be honest, I did not manage to leave the house today until tonight when we went to our neighbor's apartment for dinner... but YESTERDAY we managed a 'play date' with another mom and her baby and 'almost-two-year-old'. The three older kids got lots of energy out on the nice playground by our apartment. You can see nearly the whole thing in the picture above. It's really nice, but busy in the afternoons. Let's see... today I kept busy with starting to write some emails to friends (I'm SO far behind in writing to people... -sad!), starting to iron Nate's clothes (which need to be ironed for the start of school on Tuesday), washing dishes, doing laundry, lanolizing Will's diaper covers (because they're leaking like crazy, but this should solve that problem), watching my kids (and all that entails!), and listening to music.["There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ... a time to mourn..." -Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 4]
I have to say more about the music, because it wasn't just any music... it was my family's music I was listening to. This summer we had a chance to sing together again, and I recorded our singing and today was the first time I took time to listen to it. I suppose it sounds like any other choir group/chamber music group, but when I listened to it I just started crying. I've been thinking about mourning lately, and about how much of the mourning I need to do is because of wonderful things that have passed. I realized that the music brought back so much sweetness of growing up with a family that sang together and did so much together. I haven't lost that family, but I do miss the times that are so infrequent now. I haven't sung with my brothers/sister/parents in two years, and it was just sweet to my soul to get to do that this summer. So today I mourned living close enough to make music together more often. It was time for me to mourn that and to find joy in knowing that our music has always been a special gift to our family from our Father in Heaven. In my mourning I am so thankful.
One of the songs I recorded us singing is a song that we prepared for our Uncle who is dying of cancer. It's a neat song with rich words full of hope. My Uncle has lived a very full, rich life in so many ways, and I am already mourning the loss of probably not getting to spend time with him again. The realization struck me today that it's ok for me to mourn already, because it is healing to remember the excellent times I've had with my Uncle. I have usually felt that I'm not supposed to mourn the things/people/experiences that I miss, and so this was just a neat feeling - like God was assuring me that there is, indeed, a time to mourn.
And He reminds me that there will be more times ahead to dance.
I don't think I'm done mourning many things. At the moment, I'm sure that I will mourn India and all that our life there entailed for awhile. But intertwined in my mourning, I am so thankful that we have had such precious friendships and rich experiences - that there is reason to mourn the losses. So for now, I'll keep mourning with great joy and peace that these things are right and good.
