Math

If you haven't already found it, I highly recommend this post (...by my amazing husband). It's very well-written and so insightful.

Something for today.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

-Zephaniah 3:17

It's a lonely day as some days are so I sat down to listen to God speak to my heart and turned to this passage. It reminds me of my relationship with my kids. When Will is sobbing about something, I pick him up, wrap my arms around him while he sits in my lap, and I rock him back and forth, back and forth. I rest my head on his hair and exhale deeply, offering him my calm - quieting him with my love. In seconds, he breathes slower and stops crying - as if he's listening for my breath and accepting the peace I've offered him. It's beautiful to me - this interaction - it makes my heart so glad to have him calm down in my arms like that. Such a picture of what God longs to offer me too - His Peace.

The rest of the verse lends itself to more parallels, but they are more obvious. What I needed today was a reminder of my son in my arms - and the promise that God will quiet me with His love even more completely.

A good, ancient read

Picture it: Job 26:6-14
6 Death is naked before God; Destruction lies uncovered.
7 He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing.
8 He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight.
9 He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it.
10 He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness.
11 The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at his rebuke.
12 By his power he churned up the sea; by his wisdom he cut Rahab to pieces.
13 By his breath the skies became fair; his hand pierced the gliding serpent.
14 And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?"

I am enjoying reading through the book of Job currently. This section really stood out to me as a beautiful passage as the author paints pictures with words and concludes with verse 14 which struck me tonight as incredibly poetic. To think that of all that we DO see of God's creations and working here on earth- all of that is "But the outer fringe of His works..." so well put. I also enjoyed reading Job 28- such a neat chapter!

I love it when these ancient Hebrew texts come alive for me. Hope you're encouraged too!

Spring tidbits

It's spring in Mussoorie! One thing I seem to forget each year is how spring here is the season of falling leaves. We have many Himalayan oak trees in this area which drop acorns in the fall, but keep most of their leaves all winter long. Once the weather warms up and the new leaves begin to grow on the branches, the older leaves begin to fall off. Our yard is covered with newly fallen leaves and I am enjoying watching bunches of leaves flutter to the ground as the breeze shakes them loose. Here's a picture I tried to take to capture how the old leaves are coming off the branches as the new ones fill out the trees. Other plants did loose their leaves earlier so their new leaves are clothing bare branches beautifully.

This is also the short Rhododendron season. I've been enjoying watching the blossoms come on a tree behind our house. Just a week or two ago they began to bloom and already the petals are covering the ground.

A few days ago we were invited to join some friends on a walk around the road at the top of our mountain. It was a beautiful day and very relaxing to spend the morning that way together.

Lunch at Char Dukan

Annie wanted to sit in this little shelter on the side of the road - she called it her 'ouse'.

Will helped walk a dog and did a very good job! He'll enjoy my family's dogs back in the US this summer... but Annie is scared to death of dogs. :(

I bought a papaya in the bazaar this week and we devoured it in two meals - it was excellent! I told Nate that every time I have bought a papaya in our marriage, it is because SOMETIMES they taste like this one! (we haven't had very good ones before this one)

And a few updates are due:

1. Above is a picture of the crazy quilt that I worked on with a few friends. This is the center of it- it turned out really neat and we're just finishing it up now. We each did a square and it's neat to see a group project like this come together so nicely.

2. The diaper cover I made out of a wool sweater DOES work... and perhaps better than expected, because we have had quite a number of days when Will hasn't wet his diaper at all! :) That's the goal, after all, so even though it took a few days to figure out if the cover would keep moisture in, we are pleased that he's started to not wet his diaper sometimes.

3. I stepped on a sewing needle yesterday on my floor, and more than half an inch of it went into my foot... so my toe is a bit swollen and my foot is pretty sore today. I guess running will have to come to a halt for a bit. Hopefully it will heal quickly and I won't get an infection. :)

4. Just one more thing I wanted to share. One morning this week when I was running early, the sky was so hazy that most of the mountains were completely hidden. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to see the sun rise, which is something I usually look forward to so much. A few minutes later, I looked up and there was the sun- rising as a perfectly round circle of light - just beautiful. The thought struck me that in fact I could see the sun clearer in the haze than on a clear day when it was too bright to look at. I thought about how this relates to my spiritual life and how sometimes it's in the gloomy/hazy/dismal times of life that I have actually been able to see God clearer than during bright, clear times when all seems right. Maybe that thought will encourage you like it encouraged me.

Enjoying

These days I'm really enjoying (in no particular order) :
1. early morning runs- a beautiful thing! sometimes inside on a treadmill listening to music, sometimes outside on the roads... watching the sun creep up from behind the mountains in the stillness of the morning. I am loving this.
2. great weather! now my laundry dries in just 3 hours outside in the bright sunshine. My kids play together in the dirt (and I'm longing for a summer of playing with water that won't be dangerous for them).
3. giving my kids grapes and ice cream - they love grapes and ice cream. No, not together, but it's so wonderful to give them things they enjoy. -Makes me think of God. I think He also, as our Father, loves to give us things we enjoy when it works with His plans. :)
4. my husband- he's such a great husband and I am really enjoying this 6th year of marriage to him. We communicate well and help eachother well, I feel - what a gift.
5. living availably. I feel free to do things last-minute, to invite people over, to drop in at other people's houses if they might need my company for a bit. I love being able to help where there are needs and having relationships well-enough established here that I can bring people together and encourage those who need it. I think I was made to live like this- but not every season of my life has permitted it. It's so nice to feel like I can live like this right now fairly effectively. I wonder how long it will be before I am well -enough established in the next place we live to be able to live like this?

Church

One thing that has been a very valuable insight for me/us during the past 4 years here- has been a new perspective on Church. A few years ago, my husband and I decided to make attending Church a priority because it is Biblical and is meant to be something that is a part of a Christian's life. We had to make this definite choice because Churches are not perfect and they don't always suit our needs and desires, and perhaps you can identify with me when I confess that we often don't FEEL like going to Church. So we have been attending a Church (a 40-minute hike from our house) and it has been interesting to see what the Church is in this part of the world - (although to only see it, we could have just attended once or twice.)

One thing I did not anticipate was the encouragement that I would eventually find in regularly attending Church. For many years I felt that we were supposed to attend Church to worship God alongside others with similar beliefs. The focus was on God- the songs were about/to God, the sermon was about God, and we didn't really talk with people before, during or after the service because no one just hung out for that: it seemed we had come 'for God'...

So Church here doesn't 'draw me to God' the way other services have felt to me- and that always disappointed me... until I realized that maybe there was something I was missing in my own understanding of what Church should be. "Let us not give up meeting together..." (Hebrews 10:25)
WHY?
-because we meet together to encourage one another. In fact, I realized that perhaps even in simply attending Church, I can be an encouragement to others who also attend. I have found that I often look around and am so encouraged to see students that I know from school or other teachers in the service. Perhaps it encourages the surrounding community to see that we, staff at the school we work at, are believers - they need to see us there to be reminded that God is working at our school too. And we need to see the community members and hear about struggles and persecutions happening in our area so that we can lift those up to God and be reminded that we are on a team here and are not isolated at our school.

When we first determined to attend Church, I had no idea that God could use that to encourage others and I had no idea that He could use OTHER people's attendance to encourage me so much.

My family is unable to be much more involved than simply attending, but I have learned that perhaps worshiping God happens when we build each other up by simply making Church attendance a priority. It doesn't have to be in the songs or style of music we prefer, or sermon that speaks to our hearts- but simply in gathering as common Believers for His glory -and so He can use our interactions in a positive way.

I don't know if any of that will make much sense to people who have not lived in a similar sort of cross-cultural situation as we are in, but I thought I'd attempt to express my thoughts about it because it has been helpful for me to see another side of 'gathering together'. Hope you are also encouraged to figure out what He has for you through those seemingly dry seasons when Church just isn't 'filling' you up.

Lessons from potty-training

I have a 2-year-old who is potty-trained during the day (give or take a few accidents). She is very independent (as many girls are, I hear) and likes to get up quietly at naptime (after I've put her in a diaper and tucked her in her bed) and open the door to the bathroom and undress herself because she needs to go potty. This is very frustrating for me because by the time she finally gets to the toilet, she has already wet her diaper and since she can't get her diaper off on her own yet, I still have to come in and change it... again. Why didn't she just go two minutes ago when she was on the toilet?! The same scenario happens at night, too - every night, and every naptime... almost funny, but it gets old.

This afternoon it happened again and I ran to help her, hoping to get her to the toilet before she wet yet another diaper (because yes indeed, I'm tired of washing diapers all the time after 4 years of it!). I picked her up and in a yet-again-disappointed and exasperated tone, heard myself say to her: "You need to CALL me to come and help you instead of trying to do it yourself! Then you wouldn't make such a mess all the time. You need to say, 'Mamma! I need to go potty.'" Of course she repeated what I told her to say in the sweetest little voice as if practicing for next time. --And it was as if God whispered His truth to me right then. I realized that the scene is a perfect picture of how I am with my Father in Heaven. I take things into my own hands and speak too soon or try to do things my way in life and He's just longing for me to CALL to him FIRST so that He can COME and HELP me! Then I wouldn't make such a mess or have to do things all by myself.

Father, Help me!

Babies and thoughts

Well I'm back home after a long excursion down the mountain and back up again this evening to see my friends and their brand new baby! In the past three days I've held two newborns- even got to change one's poopy diaper and yes, he did pee all over as I did it... brought me right back to my own son's first months of life. :)

Today I was reminded several times of how blessed I have been. I am blessed to be a mother. Contrary to my many many years of thinking, not just any woman is given that gift. And I am a mother of two kids- a boy and a girl. Wow, what a gift, God. It's just gifts, see?

It was sometime during University that I began to learn of some couples I knew who 'could never have children'. It was also about that time that friends started to get married and other friends were planning out their lives. I didn't know any married friends who had kids (unless I'm forgetting someone at the moment) and many of them said things like, "yeah, we'll have kids someday"- in such a definite, decided manner, that I wanted to scream out to them- "By the way, YOU'RE not the one who decides that - God is!" - But I didn't. Instead, God began to sand away some of my rough edges about this issue, so that I was hurled into a search for truth by a challenge from my fiance: "What does God say about kids???" Guess what? Everything God says about kids is that they are His best blessing- the biggest gift He can give people for their lives to be wonderful here on Earth. He commands people to have kids. He tells them to MULTIPLY, bear children... GOD LOVES KIDS, and He designed marriage to result in giving birth to kids. Check out His Word yourself if you haven't yet on this topic (and if you find something other than that theme, let me know- I am always longing for Truth!)

But it's not just that easy, see. From my own observations, it seems that many people seem to decide to have kids in order to spice up their lives, do something different, collect another item that they don't have yet (a kid), or live on through their children. But I don't believe that God gives kids so that we can have the perfect life we design for ourselves. Instead He gives them- or withholds them- so that we can have the perfect life that He designs for us - that draws us closest to Him and shapes us most like Himself.

How awesome to me is the story of some of our friends who longed for children for several years and realized that they couldn't have their own kids. So they decided to pursue adoption. After a long process (as all adoptions I have heard about are), they finally welcomed an adopted baby boy into their home and the next month they learned that they were pregnant as well. They now say that they KNOW that God wanted them to have that boy in their home or He would have let them get pregnant sooner. They would not have carried through with the adoption if their own daughter had come earlier - after all, who wanders around with two kids who are only 9 months apart?!. Isn't God amazing? And His timing incredible?

During a conversation today, I was reminded again of how difficult it can be for some women to get pregnant and how they come to long for that stage of life. Long so much that they try everything- even artificial processes - and it made my heart sad. Sad for them. Sad that we people are so often driven to our own devices to get what we want. Does it make God sad to see us so desperate for what He has not given us?

And as I held those two newborns in my arms during the past couple of days, I was also reminded about how hard it can be for women to give birth. I have been blessed with relatively easy pregnancies and deliveries. But the difficulty of bearing children is also a great reminder to us of why Jesus came. Genesis 3:16 says it straight up: "To the woman he said, 'I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children..." So all the hard things that are wrapped up in having kids like the few I've mentioned, just go back to some poor choices in the beginning of the World. Sadly- I still make poor choices that have repercussions on my life.

I said I was thankful that I have a boy and a girl. I'm thankful because I think that those who want a baby are curious about what it is to have a son and a daughter. Well, it's not to my credit or my husband's credit, but to God's credit alone that He has given us the gift of one of each. Thank you, God. (By the way, I would have been thrilled if we had been given two of one 'kind', but still always curious what it would be like, I'm sure.) At the foundation of my gratitude and awe of God- lies a trust that I long for all people to know, and I long to know more fully. My husband and I have trusted that God will plan our lives for us and give us what is His best for our lives. We trust that He'll show us the next step, even if He rarely shows the whole path ahead. We trusted Him that He would give us children in His good time (and His timing has been so good- I must add here that even the miscarriages we have had proved to be blessings in ways I couldn't have planned!). Now we're trusting Him that He'll take us where He wants us to go next year and always, that He'll give us whatever children He wants us to have - in His good time. I feel peaceful and so thankful that our lives are in His good Shepherd hands.

Thank you, God, for new babies and all of Your goodness that they remind me of.

Celebrating Christmas

Yes, today is Annie's 2nd birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!
(I'll post some pictures hopefully later today or tomorrow.)


But while the kids are napping and the house is quiet, I've been browsing around the internet and have found a wonderful blog with lots of thoughts and ideas on celebrating the Christmas season and wanted to share it here. It has a number of posts with many ideas of ways to keep Jesus Christ as the center of our celebrations throughout the Christmas season. I recommend it! :)

HALT!

good.bad.good.good. so-so.

That's how my days were this week.

The good days are days when I get things done, when I can hang out with people, clean my house, reach out to others, play with my kids, spend time with God, do something creative... the list goes on.

The bad days... when I feel so lonely, discouraged, frustrated, unproductive... bad days. I don't know why I feel so lonely so often. Is it the mountain setting? or the fact that I've never lived near another mom-friend during my whole mom-experience? Is it that I have no real home anywhere- nowhere that I can go back to where I know many people and they know me well? My poor correspondence? What about choices- have they made us walk a lonely road? In any case, the more I think about it, I imagine that although I feel lonely, I'm most likely not alone in that! I imagine that there are many lonely people around me, or far away, but people I have known or interacted with in the past. Often when I'm lonely, God reminds me of this:

HALT!
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

When I was in University, someone shared the HALT acronym with me, stating that when we're feeling those things, we are most vulnerable spiritually. It's like an alarm to me when I realize that I'm feeling any of those things (which is far too often!!!) , that I must stop whining about being hungry/angry/lonely/tired and focus on the One who offers to meet all my needs.

Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

All of them??????
All of them!

Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

Living Words

I read this again recently and it encourged me:

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
-Isaiah 40:28-31

Though I know these words well, the passage came alive as I pictured my CREATOR who has greater understanding of all things than anyone can ever have. I find Him giving me strength, though I am weary and weak. In a very real way, I can identify with stumbling and falling as we walk on trails all day long, and I am encouraged that as I hope in the LORD, He will renew my strength. And I picture the giant eagles that sometimes fly just above our house, casting a massive shadow on the ground (I am sure that some of their wingspans are twice my height) and I recall watching them soar on the wind and hang over the valley some 6000 feet below. And I know what it is to run, but not to run without growing weary, and again, mountain terrain has taught me what it is to grow faint while walking. The promises and pictures in these few verses are so real and alive and I was struck by that and wanted to share it here. Hope you also can claim what is being offered here and are encouraged to HOPE in the LORD.